Touch Me I'm Going To Scream, Part 1(Season 6, Episode 1)

An old man engages Lucas in a game of three card monte. He refers to a the cards as "ladies" and asks Lucas which will he will choose. It's a metaphor for the three women in Lucas life! Get it?  Lucas briefly daydreams boring scenarios in which he's married to Brooke, Peyton and Lindsay respectively. OH WAIT! Lucas is still in the airport, and the old man is just a friendly old man. Lucas pokes the old man to make sure he's not.. some kind of ghost or angel? i don't know. But we find out who Lucas called last episode....it was Peyton! She calls Lucas a mess, which perfectly describes  this whole sequence. 

Peyton and Lucas go to Vegas and stay in a room with a mirror on the ceiling above the bed . Too...much..information!

Victoria is back to make everyone's life a living hell! It apparently took her half a season or whatever to realize that Brooke couldn't  force her out of the company just like that. She warns Brooke they the company will be finished if the "new project" doesn't prove popular. Still the baby clothing line, right? I think so. I almost forgot...Brooke and her mother trade barbs! 

Victoria and Millicent trade barbs, too! The "evil bitch" tries to intimidate Millie to show her the sketches  for the new line, but Millicent is a completely  confident person now.

Brooke catches  a teenage girl in the of shoplifting from the store. The little scamp pushes Brooke in her ass and escapes. Millicent was distracted trying to write her resignation: she's preparing to leave with Mouth for Omaha. I bet the girl is one of Haley's students....

Dan has survived yet again! But he's got a broken leg and is being held hostage by Nanny Carrie in some unknown location. She tortures Dan by heating a fork with a lighter and holding it close to his face. Nanny Carrie was a nurse who took care of her dying father, which is why she has the hospital bed and all the medical supplies.

Mouth says goodbye to Brooke. They reminisce about that Boy Toy Auction(when he took Brooke out in a limo and she bought him a lap dance, remember?)Millicent feels bad about Victoria wanting to take over Clothes Over Bros, and feels she should stay in Tree Hill. Brooke fires Millie, for her own darn good. So she can be happy.

Not much Haley this time. But the Haley we get is fine: she dances with Jamie to a hippity hoppy type song.

CLIFFHANGER(S) Carrie intends to use Dan to get to Jamie somehow. In the meantime, she keeps him drugged up with morphine. She's keeping him a large two story house someplace remote, so he couldn't escape, even if he wanted to.

Brooke is attacked in the store by a ski masked assailant and beaten very viciously! WHAT KIND OF GOD WOULD ALLOW SUCH A THING?