To Wish Impossible Things(Season 1, Episode 18)

Coach hosts a "Boy Toy Auction(!)" in which the boys are(of course) auctioned off for charity. They parade around on a stage while the women bid, and then get paired off with the winner. Does this kind of thing happen at high schools in real life?  Numbskull Tim ends up with Debra(because she has chores that need done now that Nathan's gone), Haley gets Lucas, Peyton gets Nathan, and Brooke ends up with Mouth 'cause he's the only one left. I'm a little creeped out by this whole thing. Oh, I forgot: Jake is won by Nicki, his ex.

Tim mistakes Debra's talk of "dirtiness" for an invite to a booty call! He shows up at her place ready to score. He drops his pants, but when he realizes his error, Dan walks in, viewing the whole wacky mess out of context.

Mouth is all ready with a limo and driver to impress Brooke! Brooke quickly takes command, taking Mouth to a strip club and  buying him a lap dance(she gets one for herself too).

Brooke is ready to ditch Mouth for a different guy, but apparently she was already with him and was too plastered to remember. Brooke is crushed and immediately starts quizzing Mouth about his friendship with Lucas(how loyal he is, how nice he is, etc.) WHAT IS BROOKE PLANNING?

 Jake takes Nicki to task for bailing on him and the baby. She appears manipulative at firs, but then genuinely saddened when he kicks her to the curb for good.

Lucas and Haley try to cement friendship by engaging in a water balloon fight on the roof of the cafe. It quickly turns sour when Lucas discovers Haley has Nathan's jersey number tattooed on her backside. Lucas is upset his precious Haley was branded in such a way, but she got it on the spur of the moment without telling Nathan. Okay, that's a little weird.

As Nathan shows Peyton his new apartment, Lucas witnesses a goodbye kiss between them and misinterprets as romantic. He decides to keep it a secret from Haley for now. What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets!

Peyton's dad really really like Karen a lot, but he knows about the Keith situation, so he removes himself from the potential love triangle. It's a good thing too, because Keith proposes to Karen. Let's see how he screws this up!

 Tearful Brooke tells Confused Lucas she's pregnant. Holy plot twist!

"YOU CAN HAZ BABY?"