Dan swears he's going to let Keith and Jules be happily married. There's a catch though: Lucas must move in with Dan. Dan seems to be playing nice: he throws Keith a party at the dealership! And he wants to pay for the wedding!
Lucas has inherited Dan's heart condition(HCM). Dan has the means to pay for the expensive medication, which means he has Lucas by the balls for the foreseeable future. Karen is unaware of this of course. She just knows her whole world has been turned upside down!
Whitey's surgery apparently went well. He's coaching again. He offers to help Jake catch up on his school work. Peyton and Jake are officially a thing now, as they are living together in Peyton's house. Yay?
Taylor has worn out her welcome. Her ploy of getting rid of Chris Keller didn't work: he still e-mails Haley constantly. Haley doesn't want to break off contact with Chris because of their "connection to music." Speaking of Chris he just happens to show up at Tric. He's touring with The Wreckers(special musical guest!) a country music duo that was briefly popular at the time. They only had one album.
Michelle Branch(one of the Wreckers) wants Haley on the tour, so says Chris. So Haley goes, and it's for real this time and not a dream or some shit. Nathan throws a temper tantrum and claims he's done with Haley! He doesn't call her a poopy head though, sadly. Haley is done to, she takes off the bracelet Nathan gave her and leaves it at the apartment.
Oh, That Brooke! Brooke's success with the crab shack thing gave her confidence to run for class president. Her competition is good two shoes overachiever named Erica Marsh. Erica Marsh quickly goes the negative route and publicly accuses Brooke of doing horrible things like rigging the homecoming queen election and stuffing her bra. Okay those things are true. But she's growing as a person now! Brooke's campaign posters can be considered a form of trolling, I think.
Lucas gives Brooke a speech by John F. Kennedy that is sure to help her kick ass. This makes Felix jealous! Yes, he's still around, dammit.
Just when I thought Brooke was going to be doing more interesting things, she got stuck in this horrible Felix storyline. However in this episode something different happens! Brooke has her own thing. I think she deserves her very own category now....
Oh, That Brooke! She needs money to pay for her car insurance, so our heroine gets a job a the local crab shack. There aren't any waitress positions, so Mister Crab Shack Carl offers Brooke a "PR" job, which involves wearing a costume and shouting a slogan outside the restaurant.
Brooke quickly realizes being a working stiff ain't all it's crabbed up to be. She's harassed by bratty children, and even Felix show up to taunt her and take photographs. Plus she only gets paid fifteen bucks for six hours of work. Something's definitely wrong there. But wait....
Brooke gathers all the other crab girls together in a show of solidarity! She's done her research, and knows that Mr. Crab Shack is violating several laws. Mr Crab Shack fires everyone, until Brooke announces her intentions to picket the restaurant, revealing that the damn crab sold there is not fresh , but frozen! Mr. Crab Shack gives in to demands for better pay and more work breaks.And behold...Brooke has made the world a better place for regular folks. The end.
When confronted by Lucas, Dan admits he hired Jules to seduce Keith to get revenge on Keith for sleeping with Debra. This isn't the end of Dan's machinations...he invites Keith and Jules for dinner at his place and taunts everyone(including his wife) with thinly veiled references about his knowledge of things(and to show them who the man is). He's a magnificent bastard.
Taylor is still flirting relentlessly with Nathan, and she threatens to pull the trigger on her past with Nathan when he threatens to throw her out of the apartment. Nathan decides to keep things a secret longer. Oh wait... he tells Haley he slept with Taylor. That's new. HALEY MAD! Anyway, Taylor isn't all bad...she communicates with Chris Keller on a chat room while pretending to be Haley and cuts off contact, maybe for good.
Haley and Taylor bond. That's sweet. Oh look, they have a tattoo in the same place! Taylor's tattoo is a scorpion, if anybody cares.
Lucas is finally convinced to take the heart test by Keith. They take the test together. Keith asks Lucas to be the best man at his wedding. Uh oh!
The knock on Nathan's door isn't Haley: it's her sister Taylor stopping by for a visit. By the way, Haley didn't go to New York with Chris Keller. That was Haley's daydream. Nathan knows Taylor, in fact Taylor is the first girl he had sex with before he became such a nice guy.
Taylor is a trouble maker! She got kicked out of school for sleeping with her professor. She flirts with Nathan a lot. Haley wants her sister gone, but Nathan wants her to stay, but just until she gets her life on track. Can Nathan resist Taylor's devil may care attitude?
Lucas has rejected Anna's advances to pursue Brooke.( Brooke is with Felix!)Anna tearfully tells her new buddy Peyton about the dumping. Then she kisses Peyton right on the mouth. Whoa! Anna is quickly embarrassed and splits.
Anna admits she's bisexual. The rumors spread all over her old school, which caused her family to leave and move to Tree Hill.
Jules is now working at the club. Lucas because suspicious of her when he she gets a call and he sees Dan's number on her cell phone display. Jules spills her guts: She was in an accident and racked up a lot of medical bills. Dan answered an ad she posted on the web and paid her in exchange for seducing Keith. But..surprise! She fell in love with Keith for realz and now regrets the whole thing. Lucas prepare to tell Keith the truth but wimps out at the last second. Because he has no spine..I mean spleen.
Karen calls Andy and another lady answers! He's not cheating on Karen...he caused an accident many years ago and now pays restitution to the woman by visiting her and stuff. That's why he's Perfect Andy!
Jake has decided he's tired of working crappy jobs and hiding from from the authorities all the time. Peyton travels with him to Savannah to bring Jenny back to Tree Hill. Nikki's still out there on the loose! Plus he'll go to jail for kidnapping.This is not a good plan.
Nathan demands that Haley stop seeing Chris Keller, which Haley of course will not do. Nathan tries a different approach: he threatens to crush Chris Keller like a bug if Chris Keller takes sexual advantage of Haley. He's so manly!
Peyton arrives at school to discover that someone has painted "DYKE" on her locker. Peyton "protests" this by painting the word on her shirt as an act of reappropriation, and promptly gets suspended by the principal. Peyton takes the shirt off right there in the hallway and leaves! Owned.
Adventures Of Keith: Dan is back at the dealership. He offers Keith a position as his assistant manager. Jules urges Keith to go back to Charleston to that teaching position he gave up. Despite this very good advice, Keith accepts the job.
Karen goes ballistic upon hearing that Lucas refused his heart test. And how!
Karen says basketball is over for Lucas until he takes the test. Lucas' river court buddies are so afraid of Karen that they make Lucas leave when he shows up to play with them. Finally someone makes a level headed decision. The revelation of Nathan being in the clear seems to bring Nathan and Haley back together, until Chris Keller tells Haley he's leaving this craphole to go to New York(he also kisses Haley).
Mouth gets wasted and smashes Brooke's windshield. Brooke thinks Felix is responsible and flattens his tires. Long story short: Felix and Brooke are back together again.This is all very tedious.
CLIFFHANGER(S)! Keith calls Jules to profess his love to her answering machine. Jules listens apprehensively...but wait a minute! Dan is with her and he seems very pleased at this. Jules works for Dan!!! Haley goes to New York with Chris Keller. Peyton is buying drugs from that Rick guy when an unexpected visitor arrives...it's Jake! If I was a fanboy, I would scream!
Best episode ever! Oh Crap.
