Locked Hearts And Hand Grenades(Season 3, Episode 6)

The basketball brawl made the national news! Coach(we learn his name is Brian, thanks to the sports announcer)punishes the team the team by making them run "suicides"(which is basically running back and forth up and down the court).

The cheerleaders aren't faring much better: the constant infighting puts Brooke in peril of losing her captain's position(much to Rachel's delight)Brooke has a plan to unify the team: she creates her own "football draft" thingy. Each girl picks a dude, and they stay with that dude for the whole season. That makes no sense, but that's what it is.

Rachel ingratiates herself to Peyton by giving her a CD of bootleg music. It totally works,even if Peyton thinks it's a bribe. Mouth asks Peyton to pick him in the draft. Bevin tells Brooke that Rachel is maybe choosing Chris Keller. Bevin chooses Skillz. He's called Skills, but I use a z. Just Because. Bevin has a daydream of sexually harassing Skillz in the hallway.

Speaking of Chris Keller, he motivates Haley by calling her latest song total crap.  He does add Haley's name on a map of great musicians birthplaces displayed at the cafe. He's a softie! Haley makes the mistake of telling Peyton about this, and Peyton unloads on Haley! She doesn't give Haley to chance to say the whole thing is Nathan's idea!  Peyton taunts Haley by telling her she's choosing  Nathan for the draft thingy. I wanna call her a bad name! But I won't.

Chris Keller tells Nathan what Nathan is too dumb to understand: Haley is sucking at her music because she's not with Nathan anymore! Her spark is gone.

Haley demands that Lucas tell Whitey about his heart disease before he drops dead in the gym. Lucas spouts poetry about being the "captain of his soul." Haley tries to get Lucas to understand he's not invincible, but it hasn't sank in yet. He's squinting really hard about it.

All the girls gather at Brooke(and Haley's) to announce the dude they picked! Brooke conspires with Haley to keep Lucas away from Rachel. But it doesn't work, because Rachel has switched slots with Bevin. That's what I think happens, anyway. It doesn't matter. Peyton chooses Mouth after all! Brooke picks Chris Keller! Bevin gets Skillz to harass for real. Haley gets Nathan and Rachel will victimize poor Lucas. His heart won't be able to take it!

Dan produces a negative television ad slamming Karen. By his standards, it's pretty tame:  it's security camera footage of her smashing a window that time she was angry at him for deporting Andy.

Dan's campaign slogan: "Yes! I give a Dan!"

Karen's campaign slogan: "Roe Roe Roe Your Vote! "