Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends(Season 3, Episode 7)

Lucas dreams he's in bed with Brooke. He wakes up next to Chris Keller. BUT WAIT! It's Haley's dream. She gets in bed with Brooke and they prepare to make out. BUT WAIT AGAIN! It's Nathan's dream. They were all Nathan's dreams! Nathan has some serious mental issues. The whole thing is weird and no doubt inspired a lot of even weirder fan fiction.

All the girls prepare for their dates with their chosen dudes. Haley is really serious about this! She looks like a million bucks. Brooke is completely repulsed by Chris Keller. Chris Keller sees this as a challenge of course. 

Haley and the other three go to the beach,. Haley wants to see the spot where she and Nathan were married. But it's different now! The purple flowers she liked that grew there are gone. It's a bad omen. They all end up at the mall, where Chris Keller comically steals change from the fountain. Haley comically take sit from him and throws it back. Brooke walks by Suburban Filth(where she works) and sees the clothes she designed on display! I think that warrants an "Oh, That Brooke!"

This development puts Brooke in a happy mood. She warms up to Chris Keller and they start drinking. Haley takes Nathan to the cafe roof and shows him the lunch box full of predictions made by her and Lucas. Nathan decides to add his own. I know that Haley won't read it. She won't right?

Mouth takes Peyton to visit his grandpa. That's nice. When Grandpa reveals he was once a race car driver, Peyton has a grand idea: to spring the old man from  the nursing home and take him to the go cart track to relive his glory days! It doesn't last long, though: Grandpa has Alzheimer's , and he completely forgets the whole night once he's back at the home. But Peyton has new appreciation and respect for Mouth!

Hey It's Rachel! Rachel and Lucas go to the river court to shoot the breeze about Brooke. Rachel quickly gets bored with this and proposes a game of strip basketball. She blindfolds him with his shirt. When he makes the shot, he removes it to find  Rachel almost naked! I don't think that's how that game is played. Lucas isn't into this at all. Rachel is CONFUSED!

Bevin works her magic on Skillz by showing him the Notebook  until he's too depressed to reject her sexual advances. He's not much of a ladies' man. Or maybe... he is!

Sitcom style subplot time: Karen and Debra climb up on one of Dan's campaign billboards to deface it, but they get stranded when their ladder falls down. The ladies must remove their clothes to hook the ladder to get down. Actually only Debra removes her clothes. But tehy get down without anyone noticing them, amazingly.

Lucas shows up at Brooke's to affirm his feelings for her. But she's already had sex with Chris Keller! Oh noes! He rejected Rachel and everything.